Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Devil Horns

Ok, this has bothered me for a while and finally it boiled over a couple days ago.

I was watching "Nickelback:Coast to Coast" on Much. Don't judge. I was just trying to figure out who the fans are of this abortion that masquerade as a musical band. Anyways, what I figured out was that their fans were mostly young to middle aged women and some jocks. And most of them were sporting a high pitched scream with the devil horns raised high in the air. (Satan is rolling over in his grave as we speak.) If you are not familiar with what I'm talking about, here is a pic of the salute:

Note the proper form of the thumb over the middle and ring finger.

So why does this bother me? Because Nickelback is not even close to be worthy of this salute. You see, the "Devil Horns" salute is reserved for only moments and bands who are the most rockingest and bad ass. Again, Nickelback is neither.

For example, read the following blog entry. It's of some loser who went to a festival that included the following bands (and I use the monicker bands in the loosest form):
  • The Crystal Method
  • Lit
  • Sum41
  • The Beastie Boys
  • Plus others
HERE IT IS

WTF? None of the bands mentioned deserve to be in the same area as the salute that he gives in the picture that appears on his blog.

If you don't believe me that Nickelback is not worthy of the salute then you only need to check this website out. I mean come on, how can you salute any of the following songs?
  • Photograph (Gay)
  • How you remind me (Didn't I hear this one somewhere else?)
  • Too Bad ( Oh please Dark Overlord, strike them down.)
  • Someday (Pure Shite)
I could go on.

As a service to the community I will now provide a list of bands that should NOT be on the receiving end of the salute. Note that this is a partial list since the complete list would be too long to complete:
  • Coldplay ( Watched a piece of their live performance on TV. Noted a number of people using the dark lords sign in vain. )
  • Nu metal ( Ok, I'm using a category here since it applies to the bands who were branded as nu metal. These include Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, Papa Roach, etc) (By the way, what the hell happened to these guys? Lack of talent that's what happened. Fuck nu metal)
  • Creed ( This also includes the resulting bands of their break up, Alter Bridge and Scott Stapp. Why can't people see through these guys? But I hear Nenek is a big Creed fan.)
  • Staind (Wah wah, so much wining. How can you salute any of this?)
  • Pop punk ( Just like before, this genre is getting way too many salutes. In reality it should be getting none. Saluting bands like Simple Plan, Sum41, Good Charlotte, etc. cheapens the salute. These weak, girly, talentless groups should be getting another sign. I don't know, the OK sign is girly enough. Yeah, after a hard rocking rendition of "Crazy" by A Simple Plan please refrain from using the devil horns. Instead give them a big OK sing. That should suffice.)
  • And finally Nickelback. (This also includes the Nickelback dopplegangers Theory of Deadman and Default. It's a shame they are Canadian.)
If you would like more information on the Devil Horns salute, the onion did a good article on it. As well as who was the one invented it.

Merry Christmas everyone. Fuck you Nickelback.